I turned 51 in March 2025.

As I write this, I have signed my divorce papers, and my wife is looking for a new place to stay.

I think when people get married and have children, they often get caught up in a life situation of being so busy raising their kids and working hard to pay for their lifestyle their marriage suffers.

After many long discussions recently with my ex, she told me that the biggest problem in our marriage was not now, but was resentment for things that had happened in the past a lot of them when we were first married.

Resentment about not getting to spend alone time together without the kids, resentment about me working too many hours, resentment about not doing certain things that she expected without me even realising what the problem was.

As someone who the last 23 years, was focused on his wife, his family his work, I now realise as a single man that there is so much of my life which I totally neglected or completely gave up on.

I stopped taking part in activities I stopped communicating with childhood friends.

I lost myself in work, spending nights driving 16-hour days working on my computer from home, keeping my business clients from all over the world happy, and helping people set up their own online businesses, payment systems, autoresponder systems, and affiliate programs for their online businesses.

This week alone I had a discussion with my ex, saying that I would like to learn to captain a boat two days later one of my best friends phoned me and said could I come with hime to collect a boat and tow it for him, as he has no towbar on his van yet. So we have planned to go out shortly in his boat for fishing.

In case you don’t think this was unusual, bear in mind my friend never had a boat and has absolutely no idea yet how to use it. 

Some other things I have decided to do with my new extra time I will have are to do a few driving tests and examinations to increase my driving skills.

Starting over again in your 50s for a man is not necessarily an easy challenge.

You are much older now so it is more difficult to get younger, attractive women

You may have some health challenges and could also be losing teeth,

You could be affected by diabetes or heart problems

You could be overweight or suffering from bone and joint health problems, too. 

A great idea which I found that helped me is that no matter how bad losing someone you love may feel when you write a list of pros and cons, you would be amazed how many pros you may find, in my case, there where far more pros than cons for being divorced, which seems completely crazy but is actually true.

Some of the things I wrote down to do for myself was 

Do the advanced driving course 

Buy a small petrol scooter and travel around the countryside

Buy an electric bike 

Captain a boat 

Listen to loud music in my house again (My ex hated music in the house)

Joining the gym and actually having some time to go as I will not be running around after other people

No more listening to moaning and depression regularly 

Not having to worry about hormonal mood swings anymore, just my own.

Plan new dreams and ideas – My wife would never take part in planning new dreams or ideas for us to do, she just complained about the things she didn’t like. I don’t have to deal with that problem anymore.