I got this Email LOl

My name is Jack, and I would like to thank the following “gurus” for the money I’ve made so far online…..

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

See that, there’s no one there, know why?

Because they’re all shite that’s why.

All the GURU’S I’ve met are crack snorting bitches getting rich selling shite to you and me and I’m sick of it!

Push button this, 3 steps to $$$illions that, mass money makers… more like my money takers… bollocks to that!

They must think we’re dumb. Yes their are a few people out there who I think genuinely want to help but 99% are in it for a quick quid, so to help me quickly see if a product is from a guru (and therefor shite) I have devised a special BS Guru test to help me spot them:

1. They have never actually run a real business or made a penny legitimately before, they have only ever taught people how to make money (my dad says “those that can do and those that can’t teach”).
2. They use words like “I only have 5 left at this special price” or an e-mail subject line that says – “you made a sale” or some other bullshit like that
3. They snort Coke
4. Their idea of support consist of Osama in India or the Philipines who sits behind a piss soaked desk and types answers to support questions using words such as “how do YOU think it should work?” and “If I told you, it would not help you grow, why don’t you search for the answer”
5. They are under 20 years old

Guru’s be warned, I’m coming to put your product to the test!

Every week I’m going to buy your product and use it exactly as you say in the videos, I’m also going to see if you lied on your sales letter and if I have to buy 3 upsels before your piece of crap product will actually work.

So listen up plonker;

DON’T BUY ANOTHER PRODUCT UNTIL YOU”VE READ MY REVIEW!

If you do, you only have your dumb self to blame if it’s shit and you fail through no fault of your own.

If it works well then we’ll all get to profit from it, but if it’s crap I’ll publicly humiliate the guru who sold it.

OK that’s it from me, I’m off to watch the Top Gear re run on Dave.

Now piss off and stop bothering me.

Jack Goff

P.S anyone who does a P.S is a Guru and should be avoided like they have leprosy….. wankers.

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